Cranky: "'Twas the night before the festival, and all through the cabin, not a creature was stirrin', no gorillas were gabbin'. The banana peels were tossed by the piano with care, in hopes that more bananas soon would be there."
DK: "Mmm... Bananas. That's my favourite part of the holiday."
Diddy: "That's your favourite part of any day, DK!" (laughs)
DK: (eats a banana) "What's your favourite part of the holiday, little buddy?"
Diddy: "Opening presents, especially when it's a-" (Jumps around the cabin) "junior jungle gym, complete with" (hangs from his feet, upside-down in front of Cranky) "mega monkey bars!" (Laughs)
Cranky: "Diddy... How did you know? That's just what I always wanted."
   <Diddy falls to the floor, a victim of Cranky's humour. Cranky laughs>
DK: "What's your favourite part of the holiday, Cranky?"
Cranky: "The truce between lizards and apes. The Kongo Bongo Festival of Lights is the one day a year we don't have to worry about that Pon-gack K'rool trying to steal the Crystal Coconut!"
DK: "The one day a year it's completely safe."

[Scene: Out at sea]

   <Skurvy's pirate ship floats ominously off the coast of Kongo Bongo>

[Scene: K. Rool's Lair]

   <Four Kritters in a mine car shudder to a halt>
Klump: "Squadron 10! Your mine car is clear for take-off on track 7. It's a low clearance tunnel so watch your-"
   <The four Kritters speed off without listening, consequently hitting their heads>
Klump: (Cringing) "Heads..."
   <K. Rool enters the scene on another mine car>
Klump: "That's the last of the Kritter troops, sir. Everybody's gone to see the Kongo Bongo Festival of Lights day... With their families..."
K. Rool: "Splendid, just splendid! Well, you know my holiday motto, right, Klump?"
Klump: "Yes sir! Even cerebrally challenged, homespun, pinhead subordinates need to spend time with their scaly loved ones."
K. Rool: "Speaking of cerebrally challenged, where's Krusha?"
Klump: "He's in the vault, sir. He's rummaging through all your junk to see if he can find something festive to bring home for the holidays."
Krusha: "I found somethin'..."
K. Rool: "What have you got there, Krusha?"
Krusha: "Ooh, ooh, ooh, candles!"
   <Krusha holds up three lit sticks>
K. Rool: "Those aren't candles! Those are-" (shields himself from explosion)
   <Krusha's 'candles' explode, covering him with smoke and soot>
Klump: "...Fireworks. I just love fireworks. They're my favourite part o' the holiday."
K. Rool: "Oh my favourite part is going back to the swamplands to play gator-games with all my slithering siblings. We just roll around in the muck all day, drinking bog-nog and exchanging villain stories..." (laughs) "...and then later, we will gorge on one of mummy's home-made mud pies!" (breathes in and sighs) "I can almost smell it now..."
   <Klump sniffs the air, imagining what his King describes, then falls over awkwardly>
K. Rool: "Well, General, I'm off! Happy Festival of Lights Daaaaaay!"
   <K. Rool speeds off in a minecart>
Klump: "Same to you, your... sinister slipperiness, sir."
   <Krusha in a minecart screams to a halt in front of Klump>
Klump: "Better hurry, Krusha... Your family's waiting."
Krusha: (speeding away) "Bye, bye..."
Klump: "Happy holidays!"
Krusha: (returns in his minecart) "Aren't you going home?"
Klump: "Uh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, sure, I was just, um... lockin' up! Oh I got a big day planned, uh, wouldn't miss it for the world. Yeah, you go on, y-ya silly salamander, and I- I order you to have fun!"
Krusha: "D'okay, uh, bye-bye..."
   <Krusha zooms off again>
Klump: (calling after Krusha, urgently) "And remember to watch your-"
   <Krusha hits his head on the tunnel roof>
Klump: "...head." (sighs) "Well, I may not have anywhere to go, but at least I' got the whole place to myself."

SONG: "I' Got No Family Tree"  lyrics 
(Klump sings about how he misses his family)

Klump: "As I recall, when I was a kid, someone taught me a little poem to cheer me up... Now what was it? Oh yeah, I remember now-" (sings) "Whenever you're sad, lonely as can be, just remember me... Huh. Dag-newt what was that last line?! Huh, oh well, no matter- there's no one to hear but me anyway.

[Scene: Beachfront]

DK: "This year's Festival of Lights is gonna be the best ever, little buddy! Wait 'til you see my fireworks display!"
Diddy: "I'd rather see my presents- oh tell me what ya got me, DK! Please, please, tell me please!"
DK: "Okay, but you can't tell anybody, because I got the same gift for everyone. It's big..."
Diddy: "Yeah."
DK: "It's beautiful!"
Diddy: "Yeah..."
DK: "It's... a banana!"
Diddy: (does a back flip) "YEAHA- Huh?"
   <Diddy rolls on the floor laughing incessantly>
Diddy: "Yeah right, as if! No, seriously- What did ya get me? No don't tell me- let it be a surprise."
DK: "Yeah- a surprise. Sure."
   <DK smells a delicious odour>
DK: "Mmm... I smell... Banana cream pie!"

[Scene: Candy's]

   <Candy spots Donkey Kong as he's about to grab the pie>
Candy: "Hi DK!"
DK: "Hi Creamy! Uh, I mean Candy."
Candy: "I thought you'd be on the beach setting up the fireworks display."
DK: "You know how much I love your banana cream pies."
Candy: "Well not as much as you're gonna LOVE the present I got you!"
DK: "Uh... Present?"
Candy: "No peeking until later... I can't wait to see what you got me."
DK: (looking sheepish) "Ah, I gotta go."
   <Funky walks up holding a surfboard>
Funky: "H-hey, Donkey Dude!"
DK: "Hi, Funky, going surfing?"
Funky: "Negative, D-man, I'm trippin' a move to Cranky's to deliver your present."
   <Funky shows the design of DK's tie on the bottom of the surfboard, then walks away>
Funky: "You'll be cruisin' your karma on a high tide real soon!" (laughs)
DK: "It sounds like everyone got me really great presents."
Diddy: "Oh, not everyone!" (laughs) "I'm sure Cranky got ya the same useless gift he gets ya every year-"
Diddy & DK: "Glow in the dark pyjamas."
Diddy: "My gift will make up for it. Ooh, speaking of which I better go wrap it. Ya better start setting up those fireworks, otherwise the only thing lighting up the sky tonight will be your pyjamas!"
   <Diddy laughs and walks off, leaving a glum-looking DK behind>

[Scene: The Pier]

DK: "How can I think about fireworks when I have to get new presents for everyone? Oh, what am I gonna do?"
   <A visual-metaphor slot machine registers three bananas as DK has an idea>
DK: "I know..."

[Scene: Inka Dinka Doo's Temple]

DK: "Oh ya gotta help me, Inka Dinka Doo! I'm desperate! What should I do?"
Inka Dinka Doo: "Look into the heart of your enemy to discover the greatest gift of all..."
DK: "Uh... Say what?"

[Scene: Forest]

DK: (Running through forest) "Thanks to Inka Dinka Doo's Inky Dinky stinky advice, now I've wasted even more time, and now I-"
   <DK slams into Klump, who had just walked out from behind a tree>
Klump: (gasps) "The enemy..." (puts fingers up to his eyes, pretending they're glasses) "You wouldn't hit a lizard with glasses, would ya?"
DK: (sadly) "I can't. It's the Kongo Bongo Festival of Lights day- a truce between lizards and apes..."
Klump: "Good, 'cos I don't even know an optomematrist. It's good to know I'm not the only one who's alone for the holidays."
   <Klump puts his hand on DK's shoulder>
DK: "Oh, I'm not alone- I'm meeting my friends later, at the beach, for a big party!"
Klump: "Then I guess I am the only one all alone today."
DK: "Aren't you behind enemy lines?"
Klump: "Well I w- ...I was just, uh, ah well to be honest I, I come out here every year, see the fireworks. I just love them fireworks!"
DK: "Well, there isn't goin' to be any."
Klump: (grabs DK's arm in terror) "No fireworks? But that's all I' got!"
DK: "Sorry, but I have to find presents for all my friends first."
Klump: "Say, uh... Being a truce and all... Maybe I could help you find them presents!"
DK: "You mean it?"
Klump: "Affirmative! And, uh... Maybe in return, you'd let me have a front-row seat for them fireworks, huh?"
DK: "It's a deal!"
   <DK and Klump shake hands>

[Scene: The Pier]

Skurvy: "Arr, mateys. It's Kongo Bongo's Festival of Lights Day, the day of the legendary truce. So I's be thinkin' what better day to steal the Crystal Coconut from the unsuspectin' apes... then on the day they ain't suspectin'?"
Green Kroc: "Aye, and what better gift to steal than the one ye be wantin' most, eh Capitan?"
Skurvy: "There be one thing I be wanting more than the Crystal Coconut, mateys- it's something I lost years ago..." (sigh) "But I can't take what be lost." (yelling) "But I can take everything else! So let's be doing what pirates do best!"
Skurvy, Kutlass & Green Kroc: "Steal booty!"

[Scene: K. Rool's Lair]

   <DK is looking through K. Rool's vault for presents>
DK: "Wow! There's so many cool things in here!"
Klump: (walking up to vault) "Take whatever ya want, 'm sure King K'rool wouldn't miss half the junk in there."
DK: "You should SEE all the great stuff I'm findin'! Hey- what are all these clown clothes for?"
Klump: (looking sheepish) "Uh... Yeah, yeah, ya better leave those behind."
DK: "Thanks to you, I have great presents for everyone!"
Klump: "I wish I had someone to give presents to... A warm house to go home to... Knitted slippers with webbed toes... and bog-nog, 'n home made mud pies..." (sings) "Whenever you're sad, lonely as can be, just remember me-"
DK: (head pops onscreen) "Remember... who?"
Klump: "I dunno, I can never remember the last part. All I know is someone sang it to me when I was knee-high to a newt, 'n I can't remember who..."
DK: (has an idea) "Hey! I found the perfect gifts!"
Klump: "Well done, soldier! What are they?"
DK: "Candles!"
Klump: "No! Those are-"
Klump: "Fireworks."
   <DK and Klump stand together, covered in soot>
DK: "I thought they looked kinda familiar."

[Scene: Cranky's Cabin]

Cranky: "What's taking DK so long? He should've finished setting up the fireworks by now..."
Diddy: "I'll go check on 'im." (runs off, stopping at the door) "Don't worry, Cranky, DK knows how important today is, he wouldn't goof off."

[Scene: K. Rool's Lair]

DK: (riding in a mine car) "Wheeeeeeee!"
   <Klump (who was asleep, sitting on a chair) wakes up, startled by DK's commotion>
DK: "General Klump! I've found the perfect gift for everyone! Mine cars! Hey, what's this lever for?"
Klump: "Don't pull the lever!"
   <DK pulls the lever, causing the mine car to upend and fly through the air>
DK: "Maybe this isn't the perfect gift, after all."

[Scene: Cranky's Cabin]

Diddy: "Uh, bad news, Cranky." (laughs nervously) "DK... Wasn't at the pier."
Cranky: "That numbskull! I bet he hasn't even started setting up the fireworks, has he?"
Diddy: "No... but it gets worse."
Cranky: "DK's the master of ceremonies! Who's gonna carry the Crystal Coconut?"
Skurvy: (strolling up) "Dar- pick me, pick me!"
Diddy: "I told you it got worse!"
Cranky: "Skurvy! What brings your skanky hide to Kongo Bongo?"
Skurvy: "I come to claim me birthright- the Crystal Coconut!"
Cranky: "Isn't there anything else you ever want, besides the Crystal Coconut?"
Skurvy: "Y'aye, there be one thing I be wantin', even more than the Crystal Coconut, but even a pi-rate can't have everything he wants... Now hand over the Crystal Coconut, or I'll blow ya to bitties!"
Diddy: "At least he's not stealing the presents!"
Skurvy: "Thar be more booty?"
Cranky: "You wouldn't dare."
Skurvy: "Aye, I would, cos..."
Skurvy, Kutlass & Green Kroc: "Pirates be pure scum!"
Cranky: (calling into the jungle) "DONKEY KONG!!!"

[Scene: K. Rool's Lair - Upper section]

DK: "I can't believe I didn't think of this earlier- everyone loves books, and King K'rool has hundreds! What do you think would make a great gift, General Klump?"
Klump: "How about a pair of gator galoshes with monkey fur linin'? 'Cause that's what we'll be if King K'rool finds out we've been snoopin' around in his personal library."
   <Klump sees the pirates leave Cranky's on K. Rool's video monitor>
Klump: (gasps) "Intruders!"
DK: "No, you invited me!"
Klump: "No, on the island!" (points at video screen)
DK & Klump: "Pirates!"
DK: "The Crystal Coconut! Oh no!"
Klump: "But it's Festival of Lights Day, don't they know about the truce?"
DK: "Yeah, but pirates don't honour truces!"
DK & Klump: "They be pure scum!"
Klump: "Heaven only knows what I'll be when King K'rool finds out that the Crystal Coconut was stolen... By someone other than me!"
DK: "Not if you help me stop them!"

[Scene: Cranky's Cabin]

Cranky: "Where in boiled bananas have you been?"
DK: "Shopping?"
Cranky: (dashes over to DK) "Huh?!"
DK: "Everyone got me really great presents, so I just wanted all of your presents to be special, too!"
Cranky: "Well good for you, ya knucklehead. In the meantime, Skurvy's stolen all the presents, AND the Crystal Coconut!"
Diddy: "What'll we do, DK?"
DK: "Don't worry, I've got an idea."
Cranky: "Now I'm worried."
DK: "But I'll need HIS help."
Klump: (bursting into the cabin) "Howdy there, neighbours!"
Cranky: "Pond-gack! Truce or no truce- hide the Crystal Coconut!"
Diddy: "Uh, it's already stolen."
Cranky: "Oh yeah, which reminds me... WHAT ARE WE ALL STANDING AROUND FOR?!"
   <Klump, DK and Diddy dash off, leaving Cranky standing with his hands on his hips>

[Scene: Pirate ship at pier]

   <Diddy pops up from a hiding place behind some fireworks barrels>
Diddy: "I only see Kutlass and Green Kroc."
   <DK pops up to see for himself, and so does Klump>
Klump: (loudly) "What are we lookin' at?"
   <They all duck back behind the barrels, and the two Kongs shush Klump>
DK: "All you have to do is keep a lookout for Skurvy, Diddy and I will take care of the rest."
Klump: "A-ffirmative!" (walks away) "Hip-hup! Hip-hup!"
Diddy: "Shush, will ya?!"
Klump: (quietly) "Hip-hup, hip-hup, hip-hup..."
   <Kutlass and Green Kroc are on the pier>
Kutlass: "Looks like we be all done!"
DK: (ventriloquizing) "What about the rest of the booty?"
Kutlass & Green Kroc: "What booty?"
Diddy: (ventriloquizing) "That thar booty on the beach!"
Green Kroc: "Skurvy didn't say nothin' about booty on the beach."
Kutlass: "You tink we should take it?"
DK & Diddy: (ventriloquizing) "Aye! 'cause you be pure scum! Arrr!"
Kutlass & Green Kroc: (marching toward beach)"Arrr, that we be!"
   <DK and Diddy hide behind some foliage>
Diddy: (laughing) "Your plan is working, DK!"
DK: "Like I said, little buddy, nothin' can go wrong."
Skurvy: (points his hand cannon at DK, at point-blank range) "Oh I could think o' somethin'."

[Scene: Skurvy's Ship]

Skurvy: "Your plan was as stinky as bilge water." (curiously) "What were ya thinkin'? That me mates would load the ship down with fireworks, then ye'd bargain for the Crystal Coconut by threatenin' to blow us to bits?"
Diddy: "Yep, that's pretty much it."
   <DK nods in agreement>
Skurvy: "Y'I be thankin' ya, 'cause ya saved me the trouble o' stealin' 'em!" (holds out Crystal Coconut) "At long last, the Crystal Coconut! It be the only booty I ever be truly wantin'!"
Diddy: "I thought there was something else you were searching for."
Skurvy: "Aye. It be me long lost brother." (sings) "Whenever you're sad, and lonely as can be, just remember me - your big brother, Skurvy. Urr."
DK: "Now where have I heard that before?"
Skurvy: "Set sail for shark-infested waters, I wanna finish these land-lubbers off!"
Klump: (enters scene holding a KlapBlaster) "I am bound, by loyalty to my superior, to fight 'til the death, to retrieve the Crystal Coconut."
DK & Diddy: "Fight to the death?"
Kutlass & Green Kroc: "Fight to the death?"
Skurvy: "Even pirates don't fight to de death?"
Klump: "Yea- well, I admit I've never actually had to fight to the death, but I'm bound by lizard law to say it. But I have blown things to bits, so hand over the Crystal Coconut, ya scum-sucking seadog."
Skurvy: "Who're you calling a scum-sucking seadog, ya scum-sucking swamp-sucker!"
Klump: "Why ya little trent-toed..."
Skurvy: "I'll skin ya for shark bait, ya ------ land-lubber!" --What kind of land-lubber??
   <bickering between Klump and Skurvy contines>
Diddy: "Hah! Are these two of the biggest goofus-doofuses you've ever laid eyes on, or what?"
DK: "Yeah, it's pretty sad... Sad! That's it!"
Diddy: "What are ya talking about?"
DK: "The poem!" (sings) "Whenever you're sad, lonely as can be-"
Klump: (sings) "Just remember me..." (thinks to self) Skurvy: (sings) "Your big brother, Skurvy. Arrr."
Klump & Skurvy: (singing together): "Whenever you're sad, lonely as can be- just remember me, your big brother, Skurvy!"
Klump: "Yeah, that's it! That's the last line! But, how did you know the endin'?"
Skurvy: "How did ye know it at all?" (realises) "Little brother!"
Klump: (throws blaster into the air in amazement) "Big brother!"
   <KlapBlaster lands and fires a shot at the fireworks barrels, DK grabs the Crystal Coconut, and all six of them run along the pier>
DK & Diddy: "Run for cover!"

[Scene: Pier]

   <The Kongs and Crocs stand watching the fireworks as they paint the sky with colour>
Skurvy: "Fireworks... They be me favourite..."
Klump: "Mine too!"
Skurvy: "That's 'cause as a young'un, ye played with 'em, and set the swamps on fire, burnin' us outta house and home."
Klump: "I did? ...I did! I remember now, and then- and then you..." (gasps) "You took the blame for me!"
Skurvy: "I was run outta the swamps faster than you could say 'get outta here ya little arson dirt-bag'. Why d'ya think I ran off to sea to become a pirate? Ya silly seadog."
Klump: "You did all that for me?"
Skurvy: "That's what family's for."
   <DK and Diddy look at one another>

[Scene: Outside Cranky's Cabin]

   <Cranky and DK are watching the fireworks show, as night time sets in>
Cranky: "Well, DK, it's not the way I would have done it, I gotta admit, this is the best Kongo Bongo Festival of Lights Day ever..."
DK: "Yeah, but all of the presents got blown up. Now we have nothing to celebrate Festival of Lights Day with!"
Cranky: "Today isn't about presents, it's about being with family."
DK: "That must be what Inka Dinka Doo was trying to tell me- 'look into the heart of your enemy to discover the greatest gift of all!'"
   <Candy, Funky and Diddy walk up, Funky is holding the surfboard he got for DK>
Candy: "And the greatest gift of all is spending time with family and friends."
   <Candy and DK hug>
DK: "Yeah, even villains need family."
Cranky: "Speaking of which, I wonder what K'rool thinks of his new house-guests!" (chuckles)

[Scene: K. Rool's Lair]

   <Skurvy is standing on an upturned mine car, sharing his adventure tales with Klump>
Skurvy: "Arrr, the sea was angry that day, brother, and so was the great white I be fightin' off..."
   <Krusha rolls up in a mine car, and crashes>
K. Rool: "...A day I remember well. That shark be the biggest, meanest, ugliest thing ye ever set yer eyes on!"
Klump: "I dunno- once King K'rool had a goiter the size of a watermelon. It was pretty darn-near the ugliest thing I've ever seen."
   <The lizard brothers laugh loudly, K. Rool arrives in a mine car>
K. Rool: "General Klump, what is going on?"
Klump: "King K'rool, you'll never believe it! I found my family! Skurvy here's my long-lost brother!"
   <K. Rool gasps and looks around, noticing luggage packed by a stack of crates>
K. Rool: "If you think this low-life, mooching scally-wag scum of a brother of yours is staying here, you are sadly mistaken, Klump."
Klump: "No, sir! He's not stayin'- I'm leavin'!"
K. Rool: (exasperated) "WHAT?!"
Klump: "I'm gonna become a seadog!"
Klump & Skurvy: (arms around each others' shoulders) "Pure scum!"
K. Rool: (pointing at Klump) "You're not leaving, I forbid it!"
Skurvy: (challenges K. Rool with his hand cannon) "Says you."
K. Rool: "Don't point that thing at me- I'll skin you with my teeth, you over-stuffed piece of shark bait!"
Skurvy: "Who ya callin' over-stuffed, ya ten-ton lard-back tub o' pond scum!"
   <Bickering continues>
Klump: "I can't believe it, They- they're fightin'... Over me!" (puts hand to ear)
K. Rool: "Listen here, you un-educated saltwater swabby scab!"
Skurvy: "Ye should know, ya bulgy-eyed bookworm!"
K. Rool: "You thick-headed tadpole!"
   <Bickering continues>
Klump: "This is the best Festival of Lights Day ever!"
K. Rool: "You good-for-nothing, slimy sack of scum-sucking scourge!"
Skurvy: "N'y'ey... Leave my mother outta this."
K. Rool: "Brainless buccaneer."
Skurvy: "Whale bait!"
K. Rool: "Beefy-tongue." --What kind of tongue??
Skurvy: "Blubber butt!"
K. Rool: "Vile vermin."
Skurvy: "Pond-toothed pongack!"
K. Rool: "Malfunctioning twit!"
Skurvy: "Bilge rat..." --What does Skurvy say here??
K. Rool: "Slimy-skinned bottom-feeder!"
Skurvy: "Yellow-bellied land-lubber!"
K. Rool: "You useless newt!"
Skurvy: "Diseased ruffian!"